Transfer deadline day stopped being exciting for Rangers fans quite a while ago, and although the protracted pursuit of Michael O'Halloran added a little spice to things, it was hardly the equal of the last minute grab of Steven Naismith all those years ago. Even in England, January 2016's window seems to have been something of a non-event, which given the combined spent of teams there was over £100m tells us all we need to know about where the money is. Clue: not Govan.
It wasn't just the transfer window which was of interest last night. A minor Twitter storm - a Twitter strong breeze, call it - arose last night as post watershed, post mortem torture-porn crime drama Silent Witness lurched quite far off the beaten path to feature Derek Griffiths as a grizzled, veteran cop. This was about as unexpected as Madame Cholet off The Wombles turning up on Babestation.
To those under 40, Derek Griffiths presented Playschool, a harmless BBC kids show from before the days of CGI, which featured story time hidden behind a round, a square or an arched window. Imagine kids' TV nowadays even considering using a shape like an arch and even more unlikely, assuming the audience was intelligent enough to grasp the concept. How times have changed!
Anyway, Derek was the friendly, Afro-permed and 70's moustachioed male presenter whenever Brian Cant was off hosting parties on his yacht, moored in the millionaire's playground of Grimsby, but until a recent emergence as the voice over for once of those ghastly payday loan type lenders he pretty much vanished off the screens for years. To see him suddenly emerge discussing a victim being raped, murdered and the body disposed of is, to the child of the 1970's, beyond cultural shock into a Twilight Zone level of weirdness. You were expecting the killer to turn out to be Big Ted and the victim Hamble.
I suppose The Twilight Zone is another reference which won't mean much to the under 40's. Sigh.
Our adventures in our very own Twilight Zone, the lower reaches of Scottish football, continue tonight with a trip to Kircaldy, never of itself the most appealing prospect, and one made somewhat less attractive yet by the squally showers and bracing winds of the last two days. Never mind your Twitter storm, we do the real thing. Trips to Stark's Park were few and far between if memory serves well back in the 70's and 80's; alas, a mark of the non-progress made under the previous regime at Rangers is that games against Rovers are not quite the exception they used to be. Fingers crossed that the new team are well on the way to setting that right.
The weather forecast seems to suggest the worst will have eased considerably by kick off, which means we ought to see our usual possession and passing based game - even on what will be a heavy grass surface. But who, oh who, will play?
Where do you think the Rangers team is? Is it behind the round window? The square window? That's right, it's behind....the arched window. (Window sequence is at 3.30 if you don't enjoy 70's nostalgia).
Since we've only really added up front, it seems likely we'll go with the usual back four of Wes, Tav & Lee Wallace with any two of Ball, Wilson or Kiernan. Midfield seems likely to be Holt if fit, Halliday, and McKay, while up front there seems to be something of an embarrassment of riches. You'd imagine King will have a good chance to start, given last Saturday, Waghorn is surely a certain starter, leaving O'Halloran, Clark, Miller, Shiels, Forrester, even Zelalem and Law, srcabbling for one more slot.
You'd have to hope that the additions make the team stronger straight away rather than upsetting the pattern, and if that happens the money is certainly on a Rangers win. Certainly points will be dropped sooner or later, that's the nature of the sport, but you'd fancy a win tonight. I go for a 3-0, a goal first half, early 2nd, then late on.
Whatever happens on the pitch, I doubt anything will be as odd as an industry spend of £100m+ being universally described as dull, or a beloved children's entertainer chewing gum while chatting of handedly about murder. But then, this is football, and you never know what you will find through the window.
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